


With a Ouija Board and a Mirror

by RobberBaroness



Category: Heathers (1988)
Genre: Bad Advice, Gen, Ghosts, Trick or Treat: Trick, one side of a conversation, reference to canonical suicide, seances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26637832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobberBaroness/pseuds/RobberBaroness
Summary: Or: why you should be careful what spirits you summon during slumber parties.
Relationships: Reference to JD/Veronica
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24
Collections: Trick or Treat Exchange 2020





	With a Ouija Board and a Mirror

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GotTheSilver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GotTheSilver/gifts).



Wow. If I’m being honest, I really did not expect my grand return to the land of the living to be at a slumber party seance. Hey, no judgement! I love goth girls. I love how you’re stuck in what are supposed to be the best years of your life and you’ve decided it’s all bullshit and you’d rather be witches and raise the dead. That’s my kind of thinking.

You’re sweet, but no, I’m not hitting on you. I already have a girlfriend, whether she wants to be or not. Hey, speaking of which, could one of you girls mail a postcard for me? Maybe one with a picture of roasting marshmallows. You can address it to Veronica Sawyer, and I just want it to say “JD isn’t gone.” She’ll know what it means. 

Westerburg Bomber, huh. That’s a hell of a name you got for me. It’s nice to think I’ve got an urban legend thing going on. I’ll bet you anything I’m more fun at parties than Bloody Mary. I hope you summoned me because I’m handsome and tragic, and not because I’m just your local ghost. 

Why did I do it? Why do you think? Wouldn’t you blow yourself up if it might finally make other people take a look and see how fucked up your world is? It’s a shame I couldn’t take anyone else with me, but hey, the best laid plans of mice and men.

I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Relax, ladies, you’re talking to a dead guy. We’ve all got that sense of humor.

The afterlife? It’s a little like high school, but we all get along better. Sure, everyone’s always judging you, but it doesn't really matter because there are no consequences. And I don’t have to live with my dad anymore, so that’s a plus. I just wish that when I was alive I’d had more of a chance to change things, you know? Make a real difference in the world, for the better. As it is, our school system is still basically a holding cell for teenagers. You know what I’m talking about, right?

Yeah, exactly! You get it! Go on, tell me what’s been happening to you. I’ll listen.

Shit, that sucks. That Marissa girl sounds like a real bitch. And it’s not your fault those guys thought you’d be easy because of the way you dress. Listen, I’m not some kind of pure-hearted crusader on a quest to save anyone’s virtue, but I can still recognize when something is fucked up.

So, some people would probably say you shouldn’t take advice from a guy who blew himself up, but you’re all smart girls. I mean, you managed to raise an urban legend from the dead with a ouija board and a mirror! You’re capable. So I think you’ll be able to find value in what I’m going to say. Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you to blow yourself up. I don’t need copycats! High school killed me, so I understand how hard it is for you. I just want to help you live through it. A real philanthropic ghost, that’s me alright.

Do any of you girls speak German? No? In that case, let me tell you about a thing called  _ ich luge _ bullets...


End file.
